Sunday, July 02, 2006

The award goes to.....

I have often thought of giving awards, when things work better than they should or are just so good as to make me think they deserve one, these are my awards from this weekend including that tragic day when we were knocked out of the world cup.

Best Elgar/Pet Shop Boys moment.

The football finished surrounded by people who did not seem to care, Gary Linekar said goodbye, The England have been knocked out montage came on Numb by the Pet Shop Boys playing along to lots of missed pens and slow motions of John Terry crying.
I Stared manfuly at the TV trying to stay composed, then in the distance booming across the street, came Elgars Nimrod at top volume, a little lump in my throat and the sadness turned to joy, the joy that I knew that would be a moment I would not forget.

Best Soundtrack Oscar to a Nick Hornby film - Badly Drawn Boy

Thanks Damon, now every time that song comes on or it is in my head as an earworm I start Narrating my life in Hugh Grants voice.
"Walking to work through the northern quarter, 2 Units" "Drinking in Big Hands 5 units."
"Its the people that matter"...and so on the more pretentious it is the better it seems, what is wrong with me for fucks sake!

Best TV advert for a sing a long- Honda - The Impossible Dream

Its subtle and I like that, it makes them look like they think people might be clever enough to understand why he changes from a bike to a speedboat, good lusty sing a long showtune from Man from La Mancha too.
You can't beat a showtune*

Best Lightening
The blast that struck a 100 metres from me as I was stood on a stool with my head out of the window checking on my drains. Made me jump and dislodge my net curtains.

Stupid award for being an annoying twat.
Downloading the frosties , it's gonna taste great tv advert, and saving it as an mp3 on my phone and trying to blue tooth it to people when I am drunk.

Best Snaffle
The man who leaned over the counter at big hands on friday took a large bottle of spirits and just left, despite me shouting "Someones snaffled some booze" like the big grass I am (it's my local you look after it) no one heard me properly and all people shouted back was " A pint of Tetleys". I don't even drink bitter.

* Yes I do like show tunes and will young, and crap rom com's there is nothing wrong with that it is very manly, OK. grrr!
"it's ganna tast great its gonna taste great I can hear the frosties hittin' my plate!"

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