I exagerate

Bez,
I say Bez, the truth is this,
I was walking through town, down a side street, headphones on maximum,
on the verge of nearly singing when from nowhere this Silver Beetle
screams past with its stereo pumping. I noticed the driver was Bez,
the mondays version of Cressa, anyway I nearly jumped out of my skin.
End of story.

It was not the end of the story though, as I walked along the backstreet with its narrow pavements it became, "That man is a cock, if I had stood in the road
he could have run me over" so when I recounted the story to my girlfriend later that evening it was not, I jumped out of my skin when a car came past, it became Bez tried to run me over. Now I am not a liar, so I rephrased it and explained the whole thing again where he just made me jump.

Fast forward a day or two, I am walking down the same alleyway with headphones on full blast, nearly singing along and there is some wet cardboard on the floor, it looks like it smells of piss, so I walk on the road briefly, In my head I get a vision of Bez coming up behind me, beeping his horn. I start to think what an absolute cunt Bez is, and I decide that if indeed that did happed I would give him the finger and call him a cunt. In fact I was sure that is what I would do as he drives like a goon.

I get to the bus stop and I am still angry with him and replay the imagined incedent in my head, and decide that I might actualy get a bit nervous calling him a cunt, it's not exactly Dorothy Parker, so I decide instead that I should call him a yanky toothed bastard, as he has just had a tooth job, but he might not get that, so I resigned myself to calling him, tooth cunt, not ellegant but to the point.

I then got on the bus and thought hang on, this never happened, i just had a two minute bit of anger for something that never happened, and you know whose fault it is, yes, Bez's for nearly running me over the yanky toothed cunt.