Sunday, October 23, 2005


You can not make jokes about cancer, seriously look.
Susan Chaplington has Cancer.
See it is not funny even when I tell you I made it up.
(technically I only made the name bit up so it is not sick
as "some one" actually has cancer

True story about Coldplay

Coldplay played a gig and the crowd thought they had finnished, so the crowd applauded loudly, Coldplay left the stage, then Chris Martin realised that they had forgot to play Yellow so they came back on and did that, then went off again.

The weird thing was, they did the exact same thing the night before, aren't they stupid, I thought that they all went to university as well!


Red Lorry Yellow Lorry Red Lorry Yellow Lorry Car Green Eddie Stobart Lorry Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, looks like the car was in the wrong queue for the ferry.

I dont know why draft

I d d d do not know why when it is tuesday I have to open a fresh jar of instant coffee, well by saying I do do not I mean I do but you wont bel bel believe me. You may think It is j j j just a tradition I g g guess. It started when I was four and my uncle would come in from his s s sh shed and need d dded a new jar for his art project. He would sit me on his kn kn knee and tell me how it was im im important that coffee jars were opened as often as possible as the litle men who lived in the pow pp pow powder would sufficate by wednesday if they wre not released. As a child I be belived him but on on only in the way you do do when you are a k k kid. B b b by that i m mean not at all b b but you want to believe so so much but you give up especialy after your unkle is se se sec setioned under the mental health act when you are twelve.

A fu fu funny th thing happened when he was lo lo locked up though. His sh sh shed exploded and injured me. Th the reason it bl blew up was because the po po powder people were for forming a secret arm amy and they were testing a new coffee j j jar bomb. Th they had us used my unckle to do th th their recruiting. Since the exp explosion i rec recruit too, every tuesday I op open the nes nescafe and they are fr freed to th the shed. So please please if you can help b b blow up my shed bef before it is too late or General van powder will att att attack Lincoln with a ja ja jar bomb fifty times more p p powerful than the one that in injured me, and if th they do the cof coffee vap vapor cloud will kill the inhabitants of ne nearby b b boston too.


I like art. I like the left wing newspaper the guardian. The Berliner format makes me read bits I would normally adore, but for fucks sake, stop sucking Jake and Dinos Chapmans cocks. They are dull nonentities jut making happy you do not have to write a piece about every peice they do. They are strictly GCSE if you want interesting try seing if your newspaper will look nice as paper mache and sell it to saatchi

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Fact 2

People in adverts for sofas on uk tv never wear sock and if they do they do not touch the couch with their feet

Friday, October 14, 2005


Do not mis construe I am not a creative god, well perhaps I am what I am not is someone who can create by having an idea thinking of how to implement it and then hitting the world with it. I am creative in the sense of having an idea thinking it is brilliant and then executing it in the most shambolic way that you will never see the beauty behind it. Nothing wrong with either way to be honest as the only way uyou can gage this kind of success is by recocnition and who needs that? The fame hungry uncreatives thats who! So i do not quite know where I am going with this but if I did I would be they type of person i hate, freedom is not ever having to tie it down so the dumb fuckers might eventualy "get you" I hope you never do as if you are you miht live in my bedroom and freak me out. This and alll my blogs do not use a spellcheck what kind of polemic checks its self to see if it makes sense? The one wanting attention and an audience?

Went to a gig tonight Indigo Jones
and the excelent deadbeats.

Now cock off you munch monster mouthed twonk!

Monday, October 10, 2005


Sven Goran Ericsson has no noticible earlobes

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Rules 3

Makers of hit american films and tv shows, do not take a classic song and dilute it by having a lame arsed band do a note for note cover with all feeling removed as a us audience would not get - the cure - oasis - the smiths etc and it would be too expensive to licence. Also Advert makers, do not do covers of songs that are just musically different enough from the songs they are robbing to not be illegal but annoying enough to make the original seem ten times shitter

Tuesday, October 04, 2005


A bird shat on my head, I washed it in the library, I went to the midland, had some free beer, pretended to be from Africa, drank more beer, left, found a water pistol, drank more beer, shot tricky ,went to drink more beer, got water pistol confiscated for my own good , got upset,drank more beer,someone gave me a maraca, lost that, drank more, went for a curry.

Yes that tricky as in trip hop tricky he was not a happy bunny, I also shot some people dressed as golfers and my ex housemate.