Sunday, February 26, 2006

Golden Gate

"So then we all just sit here waiting for a boat, that is shit" said Al, it was not long since he had told us that the round the world trip looking for references to songs was not really working for him.
We had a party of fifteen who had paid us £60,000 each to do it and we had just arrived in San Francisco, and Al was pulling his face at the inspiration to Sitting on The Dock of the Bay which Otis Reading wrote three days before he died with one of Booker T and he was bored.

We still had to do the Frank Sinatra " I lost my heart in San Francisco" and the Scott McKenzie tune before we headed up to Seatle for the Nirvana tour which was the bit he was looking forward too.

"Are you pulling a face because you want to suck Kurt Kobains dead cock you cunt!" I offered by way of cheering Al up, I added "Fucking Otis Reading is a greater legend he used to come here when he had no money and dream about the glamour of these boats but you sit here all mard arsed saying you are bored I dont like boats I am a dick who moans all the time yadda yadda yadda"

Al retorted "Fuck you soul boy, Kurt was one of the greatest visionaries of the 20th Century and yes I am bored what do I and these people who paid us shit loads of money want to sit and watch a load of fucking boats they could do that in fucking Blackpool.."

"Ah" I interjected "They wouldn't there are no shipping lanes there just floating Ships and no dock and no fucking bay!"

Al ignored me "This is nearly as bad as the U2 treasure hunt when they had still not found what they were looking for, or when you locked them in that white room in surrey and told them to imagine for a bit, you are a pretentious cunt and you are making people pay money for shit"

"Al what do you fucking want me to do, I know everything about modern music and travel I was hardly gonna start a fucking greengrocers was I you dick munch, why dont you just fuck off to Seatle now, take them all I dont fucking care they wont learn dick when they are with you." I angrily retorted

"Alright" Said Al "Could all customers please board the bus, the tour will now move on to Seatle while dick boy over here goes to Height Ashbury to get his brain lobotomised and to see if there is an operation available where he can go fuck himself up his own fucking arse"

Its funny I have not spoke to Al since.

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