The spider shaped monkey knife I bought from Ikea lives in my kitchen draw.
I bought it a plastic shelf with sections and it has only left its home once.
Len Deighton was on TV telling us how he tought Michael Caine to make the perfect omlette in the film the ipcress file. I was amazed. So I went to my draw, and got the spider shaped monkey knife and stirred up some raw eggs and poured them in the pan to make this tasty treat. When I had eaten, I put the spider shaped monkey knife into my sink of hot water and soap. I cut the water with my spider shaped monkey knife into as many pieces as I could, or at least till my arm hurt so bad that it could take no more and when I glanced down I noticed well of white foam had built up. Bah! I thought, my spider shaped monkey knife has disappeared never to be seen again, so I ran to my lounge and got my Ikea catalogue out and looked at a picture of the spider shaped monkey knife and cried a silent tear, it seemed to get me through the night, although I had a strange dream about a Monkey Shaped Banana Spoon.
When I awoke the next day I went to my kitchen and looked in the sink, and there submerged in the clear water, what did I see, my spider shaped monkey knife had come back to me.
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