Saturday, November 26, 2005

April and the Arse kicking Bambi Assassins - Introduction

One day on a mild and murky April morning a band of girls known simply by their most famous member and the shocking deeds they did upon the wilds of the enchanted Quelvar Forrest were setting off on a new mission to stick pins in a badger to make sure it knew how it felt to be a hedgehog, in the hope that a valuable life lesson could be tought to the badger and that it would bleed and hopefully die from the wounds the sadistic team did to the only slightly evil badgers of Quelvar woods.

April and the Asskicking Bambi Assasins (arse kicking for the UK market) were not your normal ladies, well not normal for Quelvar woods, were they normal for Quelvar woods they would be some squat, round, fairy like, sister mary types who eat too many mushrooms and worried about making childrens wishes come true.

These cats, or sisters if you feel my language too beatnic, preferred violence. They were not evil, heck they were ironic super heroes with a fettish for animal cruelty justice and despite never having been there American family values.

Before I tell you about the adventures of April and the Arse Kicking Bambi Assasins I feel it only correct to introduce you to the team.

The leader of the troupe, she is 17 6'4 only wears pink fur, has died her hair pink, loves punk rock.
her hobbies are knitting karate and voodoo. She is the eldest and leader of the gang the arse kicking bambi assasins.

The 4 Arse kicking Bambi Assasins are

May aged 17 5'9
Stuborn and sporty and born with only one arm, she will only wear emerald green.
Loves the film of flash gordon, when she was ten she met Bambi who she thought was really cool after she painted May's cat pink and stuck a rocket up her bum and fired it into the next door neighbours greenhouse.

June 17 2'3
May's half sister, Loves Science has a hole in her middle caused by an accident with Hydrochloric Acid.
Enjoys thinking of new ways to torture animals using her scientific knowledge.
Hates, pretty girls who are into science who wear glasses and let their hair down when they see men. Loves to flaunt her hole

Octavia 17 5'5
A German girly girl, also loves to wear pink but April will not let her so wears sequins and shiny belts.
Got into the gang when the girls saw her on the internet putting her brothers rabbit into the blender drinking it and spitting out the bones. Has blonde hair that is always frizzy.

Belle 16
The Sex bomb of the troupe often uses the animals for ahem sexual encounters
Never goes on missions with the other girls is just refered to in the stories

Stories of April and the Arse Kicking Bambi Assassins will apear soon

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