Saturday, November 05, 2005

Film Pitches 1

In an utterly Alan Partidge moment of clarity I have decided
thsi is the medium to pitch all my great Ideas for motion pictures

Idea 1. Man - Chester
Dave Parsons told his mum he was gay, she said she knew all along but said it was probably best not to tell his father Marlon Parsons a vase designer brought up in rough working class stoke, he did anyway as he could not bare to hold it secret any longer and he got thrown out of the house.
His mum sent him some money and he set up home in Chester with a guy called Frank, they were just mates though.

Idea 2 Prom-adour
This ugly girl got invited to the prom off the captain of an american football team.
It was all meant as a joke, but it backfires and they fell in love for real. Everyone could see it was real
and no one told her about the joke as they looked so good together. They split up some weeks after though as he had got into college and the distance relationship was not working. Now cut to 10 years further forward. they are on the school reunion. They are dancing and there eyes meet, our american footballer tells ugly girl it was all a gag at first. Girl upset runs off. American footballer chases after her they row but end up having hard physical unprotected sex up against the school.
Cut forward 18 years the child from this sex up goes to his prom and invites an ugly girl to the prom......the film then loopes and can play indefinately till they are at school on the moon. Karl heinz Stockhausen can do the soundtrack

Idea 3 Sex down
Man meets girl falls in love with girl, gets drink in him and shags her best friend. They all fall out. The End
Perhaps someone has a tuma too.

Idea 4 London Blood Bath
Vampires swooped down and started to attack the streets of London, the army were sent in and they were all turned to vampires too, luckily this really hard bloke sorted them out (he is american and likes hockey). He had this girl scientist helping him and when she took her specs off and let her hair down she was quite nice looking, so the dood ended up boning her with his love spike but not before he had put a real spike through every bastard vampire in london town.

Idea 5 Shopping - The Movie a silent arthouse film with subtitles and shit
A woman in Hereford bought a pen from Martins newsagents, the woman selling it her gave it a little scribble to see if it was working, she also bought a lighter and she checked that and the next day she went and bought some eggs and she did the same, The woman made a mental note not to buy tampax from there.
I know what you are thinking "Its unfilmable" thats why I will only let Terry Gilliam or Guy Maddin direct it

1 comment:

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